Very Important Announcing of Stuff

You guys!!!

This is a very important thing for you to know about.

I



Have


A



MINION

Stuart

He says he is a big movie star and he came home with Geoffrey from the store where all of his movies are!  I pushed some buttons on the computer box and I found out that he is in a big deal movie with lots of other minions and he can do stuff like fly rockets and build stuff and follow orders and run around.  I am goig to watch the movie and get some Great Ideas for stuff he can do. I will tell him what to do. I hope he doesnt have like TOO MANY fans because I do not want him to be sad when he finds out I have more fans than him.  He is named Stuart you guys what kind of stuff should he do??

Super Hero Adventures

I want to be a VERY FAMOUS GORILLA.

Did you know there is a famous Gorilla named Koko but she is a girl. But anyway she is real famous for painting weird blobby pictures and making the humans think she wants to talk human words and eating Birthday Cake and petting kittens and stuff. I want to be WAY MORE famous then her.

For one thing OKAY I have a computer box place and I can push buttons. That right there is way better than doing dumb made up Sign Language that only a couple of nerdbutt humans can understand. I can put whatever I want on here and I do not have to pretend I like eating Zoo Chow and getting shots and watching Scientists do Gorilla Science.

I have some pretty good ideas about how to be real famous.  Guess what!! I think I will make up a story and maybe make it like a book or a movie or something.  Do you like movies about Super Heros because so do I!!! I will make my own Super Hero and he will be the awesomeest and there will be movies and when small human babys eat at human food places they will get little toys that look like my Super Hero. And there will be cartoons and small humans will pretend they are my Super Hero when they dress up and beg other humans for candy and there will also be posters and video games!!!

Here are some ideas I have for what the name of my Super Hero can be.  I will ask you super fans and you can help me pick out a guy from here and then I guess I will maybe put your weird human name in small letters at the end of the video game or something OK HERE WE GO

• Captain Bananas (the Boss)
• Flowertime Lazer (kind of more shiny outfit)
• Lunch-Box (real strong tough guy)
• The String Bean Kid (side-kick)
• Doctor Toast (evil guy) (mustash) (made of burny bread)
• Lady Foot Locker (wait this doesnt sound right)
• Lady Foot Kicker(yes that is better) (tall boots)
• X-TREME (never talks just punches)
• Steve (human) (dumb)
• Triple Horn Unicorn (like a regular unicorn but 3 horns OK obviously guys) (Super Heros ride around on it)
• SHerif Bink Binkerton (dumb police guy who cant figure out Crimes and Mistery) (mustash) (Hat)

OH MAN this is going to be so super awesome I cant wait for these Super Hero adventures!

HELP PLEASE

Guys I have to tell you that I am totally so MAD about something. This is the thing, OK? Are you paying attention? I know i havent made any new computer box thingies in a long time but I am SO MAD rite now that I had to make a new letter to you superfans about it! Here is the thing I am REAL MAD about!! The humans brought this disgusting hairy CATBEAST with sharp claws into the place where I live and they will not get rid of it! IT IS SO AWFUL you guys. I hate it. They let the catbeast roam all over wherever and all he does is Mess Stuff Up. He is messing up everything and I just don't like him at all. Here is some of the Stuff that he messed up so far: flowers, table, couch, trash, paper (both Regular and Toilet). Also he chews on stuff on the ground. He is totally dumb and doesnt know what food looks like. The humans think he is so wonderful and awesome. but they also think he is not going to tear up their faces with his knifey catbeast claws while they sleep. THEY ARE WRONG and they will probably soon be Dead. If they get Dead from the catbeast then I will need some of you fans to come get me, and my brothers and baby sister, and I guess Frankie. (maybe.)

I have some ideas about what to do about the catbeast so please tell me which idea i should do

IDEAS FOR GETTING RID OF EVIL CATBEAST

• Put bowl on floor. In the bowl is a bunch of dead mice. Tape some string to bowl. Hide behind door with other end of string. When catbeast starts eating dead mice, pull string out door until stupidhead catbeast goes outside. Close door. Laugh. PROS: Gets rid of catbeast forever. CONS: Where do I get bowl of dead mice? Need to look on computer box
  
• Get Frankie. Put lots of glue all over him. Put him in middle of floor. When catbeast tries to eat Frankie he will get stuck in the glue. Make Frankie take catbeast outside. PROS: Will probably be very funny; uses Frankie as bait. CONS: Frankie might get stuck to catbeast forever and this makes me feel kind of guilty
• Get big ball of tangled up string and put on kitchen floor. Get paper airplane and some kind of box. Take airplane and box and climb up to top of ReFrigemator. When catbeast comes to play with big ball of string (they like those right??) SWOOP DOWN FROM THE SKY on paper airplane and drop box on top of catbeast!! Dont tell humans where he is. PROS: This is the most Awesome idea I have ever had! CONS: None that I can see
• See if humans will get a dogbeast to eat the catbeast. Then I guess something bigger will need to eat dogbeast. Can they get a horse or rhinosserus. I wish dinosaurs were real. PROS: Real Life Animal Planet stuff. CONS: Dinosaurs not being real makes me sad

OK HELP PLEASE THANKS

Stuff Babies Do

Attention Fans. I have a baby brother who is named Ike. I guess he is a baby Rhino-Saurus which I think is a kind of Dinosaur but like more lame and with less museum bones. Maybe someday he will be a big scary Rhino-Saurus and be in a movie like Jurassic Park 38, but right now he is just a baby. He hangs out with my sister Gertie who is a baby Alligator and they do Baby Things like roll around on their backs and wave their legs around in the air in a dumb way and sometimes throw up. babies are not all that awesome.

Here is some stuff that I think babies should do which WOULD make them way more awesome

• Jump off the ceiling fan while it is spinning around real fast so they fly through the air (maybe with capes)
• Give a TV Weather Report where they throw up on the map where they think it is going to snow
• Learn to talk and not just make dumb noises that dont make any sense
  
• Stay awake for like more than ten minutes
• Live in the Microwave and put up a little red flag outside it when they need their diapers changed
  
• Get some better toys
• Glow in the dark
  
• When they are supposed to be playing Luigi they could at least TRY to get the good turtle shells and stuff while I am trying to be Mario and drive the Mario Kart instead of just flopping around and drooling on the video game buttons

That is all I can think of right now for ways to make babies not be so boring.

I went on a big boat full of humans

It was a while ago like in Kinda Warm Time but before Real Hot Time. ((This is going to be like a pretty good story if you want to get some popcorn and stuff.)))

OK so anyway I went on a big old boat full of big old humans. Renee said it was a Boat but I have never seen a boat like that so Im pretty sure she was lying. It was way too big to be a real boat. It was more like a spaceship but it went in some water and had like 80 gazillion food places where the humans would line up all day long. They tried and tried real hard every day, but they just could not eat all the food on the Watership!! I am going to call it Watership now because that sounds way cooler.

Somtimes the Watership would stop moving and it would stay in one place for a while. Then some of the humans would walk onto the place and buy things. Some other humans would keep trying to finish eating all the food on the Watership but haha they never did.

Here are some things the humans liked to do when they were on the Watership.

1. Flop around in some water ON TOP of the Watership but not the REAL WATER
   
2. Buy shiny things
3. Take pictures of stuff
4. Lie on one of these white chair thingies
5. Flip over onto bald ugly human belly and lie on the white chair thingie some more
   
6. Try to eat all the fishes ever, especially those scary ones that wear armor and have googley eyes
   
7. Make other humans bring them stuff on trays
8. Sign their names on pieces of paper

Here are some things the humans DID NOT DO and I dont understand why

1. Do big belly flop into the Ocean (Real Water)
   
2. Watch TV
   
3. Try to get the Watership Captain to make the Watership fly into Space
4. Get the Watership Captain Hat
5. Look for one of those Jungley TV shows at one of the stopping places
6. Play video games
7. Also they never figured out what kind of Magic was making all the food appear which I probably could have figured out if I tried because I have seen those shows where the guys figure stuff out by making stuff explode
8. Make stuff explode

I forgot what this list was supposed to be about. Anyway. I will tell you more about the Watership later on OK?

My Job, An Update!

OH man you guys, Siena's Baboo just told me about the most awesome job and I totally want it.

Hey I heard of another cool job for you today. You could be a cocoa harvester. The guy on the radio said that monkeys with machetes make great cocoa pickers. Okay, technically you are a Gorilla, but gorilla's are bigger than monkeys. That means they should do a better job. And guess what! They wrap the cocoa pods in banana skins to dry. So I guess that means the pickers get to eat the bananas to get the skins. Sounds right up your alley, right?

I feel kinda bad for all you dummies who did not give me cool ideas like this. How do you get a job anyway? I dont know if I really want to have a career and stuff right now but I will make a Plan about it. I also have Plans about other things for example if I was going to make one of those small movies I see on TV sometimes that only last three minutes and have a song playing. These are my Plans about what would make really good small music movies.

RARRRGHHHH All Right Mate
---I have a Mohawk and some safety pins on me, and I jump up and down alot . Music doesnt really matter but it has to be kind of fast and awesome with guitars. I might smash some stuff. Humans in the audience are going TOTALLY NUTS about my smashing the stuff & they love it more than whatever I was playing before

Even My Toothbrush Has Diamonds All Over it (this kind of hurts my mouth though)
---I have a big shiny necklace with lots of diamonds in the shape of a banana that is so heavy I cant really move. But I am strong so I stick my head out of a big fancy Limo-Zine Car which moves me around (cause of the heavy necklance i cant really walk anywhere) and I talk kinda fast. Lots of girls in small shorts are hanging around for some reason. At the end of the small music movie, the song stops playing and there is like a dramatic car crash or some helicopters fly out over some water and buildings and my name comes on the screen all like DJ KOKO

My dad Thinks I am not that Pretty
-I am a girl who plays piano real hard, and my voice goes up and down a lot and I have a couple of tattooe thingies, Might need to think more about this one because I dont really like girls

Dude, Who Drank All the Fresca
-I play a guitar, kinda slow and Im not all that good at it, but there are ocean sounds in the background and there are lots of trees and mountains and junk in this movie. Some humans with yellow hair get on surfboards and stuff. They make a fire and laugh a lot about nothing I can figure out really.

This is all I can think of for now but please dont tell anyone about this secret Plan ok I dont want any dumb humans messing up my small movies.

What i shoud Be When I Grow Up

I have decided that I should start to think about what I want for a Career. I heard that Careers are things you do when you get old and you dont want to have fun any more. I think that sounds kind of dumb but I guess it would also be dumb not to know what my Career is going to be. I dont have to start it right away or anything!!

Here are some ideas I have so far but if you have one you can let me know!

What do you think of these!

1. Captain of a Big Boat (only if special hat is included obviously)
2. Cooker of Food In Restaurants (good food)
3. Have my own TV Show where I do exciting stuff like catch alligators with a small piece of string, or jump off a cliff and get rescued in the air by some parrots that have escaped from a dangerous Pirate Ship
4. Tree Sitter (take care of some nice trees)
5. Superhero (need a cape and maybe need to learn a Superpower???! Some Superheros get these by getting in an accident with glowy radiation poison or getting bit by spiders I think? Need to look this up)
6. One of those animal doctors who gives shots to Hippos
7. Cool Guy in Movie with Sunglasses (note: I might meet a pretty girl and open a car door for her, then when I close it I knock on the car TWO TIMES to tell the driver it is OK To Go Now.)
8. Cool Guitar Player (Doesnt look that hard to play those things you just hit the strings a lot I think)
9. Super-Secret Boss Boxer on Wii Sports
10. Spaceship Captain (like Boat Captain except different hat)
11. Turtle Surfer
12. Smartypants Science Guy with Glasses
13. Fruit Tester
14. Grocery Store Person (slide stuff over a thing that beeps, push buttons)
15. Cool Police Guy (also might need sunglasses for this job. I sometimes solve awesome cases but sometimes I have to wear my badge on a necklace? note: look this up too)
16. Race Car Driver (awesome)
17. Ice Cream Tester
18. Dude at hotel who takes suitcases (they have neat carts with tall poles on them and they are shiny) (special hat)
19. American Gladiator
20. Construction Guy (special hat) (hammers and stuff are cool)
21. Guy who makes pizzas by throwing a big old pile of squishy dough in the air to make a circle
22. TV Weather Guy (need to grow eyebrows and figure out how to point real good at pictures of clouds and find out who Superdopplar is)

OK thats all I can think of for now. I am pretty tired from thinking of careers. This is hard.

A Fun Game to Play

Here is a pretty funny game I thought of today while I was eating Renee's carrots ps please do not tell her that I am the one who ate them and also please do not tell her to look here for a while

OK HERE IS THE GAME

Geoffrey and Renee like video games a lot!! See if you can guess who wants to buy each one!?

1. Murdering Zombies at the Mall
2. DEATH ZOMBIE AMBULANCE
3. Superninja Fighty Fight
4. Fluffy Bunny Hopppy Hop hop
5. Return of Superninja Fighty FIght (DEATHSWORD)
6. Lame Kissy Kiss Romantic Hearts and Lollipops Forever
7. Cars Blow UP!!! --with some Werewolfs
8. Puppy CUTEMATCH 2000
9. Poniez and Rainbowz IV
10. HIT STUFF WITH HEAVY PIPES or BRICKS alot

How many points can u get from these?? I will reveal the Amazing Mystery answer next time!