F. L. is like a good way of saying his name

OK here is the Good Guy Super Hero!  His name is FLowertime Lazer and he is a super strong flower who can fly and he has a shield and he shoots lazers out of a gun and he never runs out of lazers and the lazers can kill any kind of monsters or aliens unless they are magic lazer proof!  I dont know if Doctor Toast will be able to survive against FLOWERTIME LAZER!!!

This is Frankies drawing. I told him all the important stuff about F. L. and I told him to definitely definitely NOT make F. L. be wearing stupid human shoes.  But he can wear a cape and a belt. And he needs some cool sunglasses because he is real cool.

I wish he was waering a special hat but I guess his flower face thingies would get crushed.  Do you guys think he has to sleep with his stick feet in the dirt and drink water because that is what I think.

totally evil Doctor Toast

You guys are sort of smart for humans. You did a real good job on my clicky game!  On my computer place!! You picked some good super heros to win and be awesome. There was totally a tie so I decided that Flowertime Lazer and Doctor Toast would both win. I decide stuff here because I am the boss of everything on my computer place.

OK. Here is what happend!! I told my brother Frankie that I need some Drawing Portrats. You guys remember he is kind of good at making pictures of stuff. Not like pictures inside a camara box but pictures that he makes up from his own wierd fat hippo brain. So I tryed to make some drawings of the 2 Super Heros and they DID NOT look good at all. Like I saw in my head that they would be totally awesome with one guy as a super good guy and maybe Doctor Toast would be a real evil Villin. Like here are some other villins I know, SKELETOR, COBRA COMMANDER, RITA ON POWER RANGERS, BIG GIANT EYEBALL ON TOP OF TOWER IN LORD OF THE RINGS, DARTH VAYDER, SHREDDER.  Those are evil!! But when I did my Drawing it looked like a blobby seal with a mustash and not at all like a bad guy! Why cant I do drawings of stuff and make it look like what I want?! Is there a show on the T.V. about making drawings?

Frankie knows how to make drawings!! I dont get it because he can not even READ and stuff. Like I could not just point at my computer place to tell him what to do. I had to tell him about it so he would know what to draw without having to read it. First I told him that the name of the winner was Fat Hippo Butt. Ha ha ha. But then he really drew a fat hippo butt and it was gross guys. He doesnt get jokes too good. So then I told him Doctor Toast was the real guy and he was evil and he should have a mustash and one of those round glass things with a chain that sticks in one eye. And I definitely DEFINITELY want him to have a pet chicken that is also evil I mean DUH. So here is what Frankie made.

You guys tell me if it is any good OK because I cant decide. I mean I guess he does look pretty evil and stuff. But I did not tell Frankie that Doctor Toast wears those kind of human shoes. THOSE ARE SNEAKERS and I have never seen a real evil guy wear sneakers. I dont know about this.

The chicken is kind of cool though

Super Hero Adventures

I want to be a VERY FAMOUS GORILLA.

Did you know there is a famous Gorilla named Koko but she is a girl. But anyway she is real famous for painting weird blobby pictures and making the humans think she wants to talk human words and eating Birthday Cake and petting kittens and stuff. I want to be WAY MORE famous then her.

For one thing OKAY I have a computer box place and I can push buttons. That right there is way better than doing dumb made up Sign Language that only a couple of nerdbutt humans can understand. I can put whatever I want on here and I do not have to pretend I like eating Zoo Chow and getting shots and watching Scientists do Gorilla Science.

I have some pretty good ideas about how to be real famous.  Guess what!! I think I will make up a story and maybe make it like a book or a movie or something.  Do you like movies about Super Heros because so do I!!! I will make my own Super Hero and he will be the awesomeest and there will be movies and when small human babys eat at human food places they will get little toys that look like my Super Hero. And there will be cartoons and small humans will pretend they are my Super Hero when they dress up and beg other humans for candy and there will also be posters and video games!!!

Here are some ideas I have for what the name of my Super Hero can be.  I will ask you super fans and you can help me pick out a guy from here and then I guess I will maybe put your weird human name in small letters at the end of the video game or something OK HERE WE GO

• Captain Bananas (the Boss)
• Flowertime Lazer (kind of more shiny outfit)
• Lunch-Box (real strong tough guy)
• The String Bean Kid (side-kick)
• Doctor Toast (evil guy) (mustash) (made of burny bread)
• Lady Foot Locker (wait this doesnt sound right)
• Lady Foot Kicker(yes that is better) (tall boots)
• X-TREME (never talks just punches)
• Steve (human) (dumb)
• Triple Horn Unicorn (like a regular unicorn but 3 horns OK obviously guys) (Super Heros ride around on it)
• SHerif Bink Binkerton (dumb police guy who cant figure out Crimes and Mistery) (mustash) (Hat)

OH MAN this is going to be so super awesome I cant wait for these Super Hero adventures!

Special message to my AUNT SANDI

GUys this is a real special post to my Aunt Sandi so if you are not my Aunt Sandi then you might not want to read this post. Or you can read it I guess but you might be kind of a dumb person for reading a post that says it is for my Aunt Sandi and you are not really my Aunt Sandi. Unless you are a spy and just pRETENDING to be my Aunt Sandi and in that case I guess you are not dumb but actually pretty smart because that is something you would do if you were pretending to be somebody. You would make a big point of reading stuff that is for that person and be all like "OH THIS MUST BE FOR ME BECAUSE I AM THE REAL AUNT SANDI."

UMMmmmmm oh yes. ANYWAY.

Dear Aunt Sandi.

Can you please tell me how to grow some eyebrows.  I know you are good at stuff like painting and making human stuff. Can you please help me because I really want to have some eyebrows I can use for being the following things.

Angry

Surprised

Not too sure of something but I feel like it might be wrong and I am thinking the person is dumb for suggesting it

Worried

Uni-Brow (don't know what this is good for but it would be funny)

See, Aunt Sandi? I need some eyebrows to be those things. People on TV have eyebrows. I guess because I have lots of fur I might have eyebrows underneath it someplace. Humans have eyebrows on their ugly bald faces so maybe you can help me figure out how to get some.

LOVE
KoKO

Stupid Catbeast BLUHH

I

HATE

THE

CAT

Guess what the cat did today?................ Pushed a  stupid ball around the floor .............. chewed on piece of paper .........made some scratchie marks on chair ............. licked his butt ........ licked the bottom of the Bath Tub ......... stared out the window ................ went to sleep.

WOW WHAT GREAT STUFF TO DO HE MUST BE A GENIUS

I hate him so much. He is ugly and mean. I am having a Pro-Test where I hold up a sign and dont move for a long time but the humans just walk by me and do not notice me!!  I was here before the stupid catbeast and nobody asked me if i wanted to have a monster run around all the time?

WHAT DO WE WANT?

NO CAT!!!!!

WHEN DO WE WANT IT??

PRETTY MUCH RIGHT AWAY PLEASE

HELP PLEASE

Guys I have to tell you that I am totally so MAD about something. This is the thing, OK? Are you paying attention? I know i havent made any new computer box thingies in a long time but I am SO MAD rite now that I had to make a new letter to you superfans about it! Here is the thing I am REAL MAD about!! The humans brought this disgusting hairy CATBEAST with sharp claws into the place where I live and they will not get rid of it! IT IS SO AWFUL you guys. I hate it. They let the catbeast roam all over wherever and all he does is Mess Stuff Up. He is messing up everything and I just don't like him at all. Here is some of the Stuff that he messed up so far: flowers, table, couch, trash, paper (both Regular and Toilet). Also he chews on stuff on the ground. He is totally dumb and doesnt know what food looks like. The humans think he is so wonderful and awesome. but they also think he is not going to tear up their faces with his knifey catbeast claws while they sleep. THEY ARE WRONG and they will probably soon be Dead. If they get Dead from the catbeast then I will need some of you fans to come get me, and my brothers and baby sister, and I guess Frankie. (maybe.)

I have some ideas about what to do about the catbeast so please tell me which idea i should do

IDEAS FOR GETTING RID OF EVIL CATBEAST

• Put bowl on floor. In the bowl is a bunch of dead mice. Tape some string to bowl. Hide behind door with other end of string. When catbeast starts eating dead mice, pull string out door until stupidhead catbeast goes outside. Close door. Laugh. PROS: Gets rid of catbeast forever. CONS: Where do I get bowl of dead mice? Need to look on computer box
  
• Get Frankie. Put lots of glue all over him. Put him in middle of floor. When catbeast tries to eat Frankie he will get stuck in the glue. Make Frankie take catbeast outside. PROS: Will probably be very funny; uses Frankie as bait. CONS: Frankie might get stuck to catbeast forever and this makes me feel kind of guilty
• Get big ball of tangled up string and put on kitchen floor. Get paper airplane and some kind of box. Take airplane and box and climb up to top of ReFrigemator. When catbeast comes to play with big ball of string (they like those right??) SWOOP DOWN FROM THE SKY on paper airplane and drop box on top of catbeast!! Dont tell humans where he is. PROS: This is the most Awesome idea I have ever had! CONS: None that I can see
• See if humans will get a dogbeast to eat the catbeast. Then I guess something bigger will need to eat dogbeast. Can they get a horse or rhinosserus. I wish dinosaurs were real. PROS: Real Life Animal Planet stuff. CONS: Dinosaurs not being real makes me sad

OK HELP PLEASE THANKS

Math is Totally Easy

I am pretty good at different stuff and lately I have figured out that I am Excellent at doing Math! Math sounds hard but it totally isnt, it is all How Many Bananas Do You Have Left If You Give One To Ralph and stuff like that. I guess it would be hard if you were a real dummy though. I am so Excellent that Geoffrey helped me write on peoples math tests to tell them whether they were real dumb or just sort of dumb. I guess when they do Math in Geoffreys class they have to write in this weird flat blue book with not many pages in it. I don't know why they can't just write on regular paper?? I will have to ask Geoffrey later. Anyway so I wrote some good helpful comments on the Math Tests and here are some examples.

• Wrong - Try to be right next time
• 3 + 3 Doesnt Equal 5, Dummy
• Maybe if you werent so ugly it wouldn't matter if you were this bad at Math
• Right - Good Job (but not Excellent)
• Stop doing so bad at tests
• If you are so dumb you cant do a fraction then jab that pencil in your face
• Pretty good - but write your numbers better next time

So these are pretty helpful test comments and I think Geoffrey might let me grade more!

Oh yeah and P.S. to my superfans i have started my own page on Twitter. It is like making my own computer page only way shorter and easier so that is pretty awesome. Please be my fan and try not to make me look totally uncool in front of the Twitter people OK? Twitter is going to make me super popular and famous.

Do you guys want to see my PassPort

pretty awesome right? Geoffrey had to help me make this PassPort because I went on a Vacation. Sometimes when you go on Vacation you have to have this tiny book that you dont read or anything but you sometimes let other people read it and it is all about you. And it has lots of blank pages (??? dont know why??) and they get real mad if you color on the pages I guess. Its supposed to be real official and stuff so I had to have Geoffrey help me out with mine and this is what it says inside the cover of the book. I had other books to look at but I guess the only one they want to see is the PassPort Book. Whatever!! Also thesePassPort books are all sideways. Dumb humans!!

Stuff Babies Do

Attention Fans. I have a baby brother who is named Ike. I guess he is a baby Rhino-Saurus which I think is a kind of Dinosaur but like more lame and with less museum bones. Maybe someday he will be a big scary Rhino-Saurus and be in a movie like Jurassic Park 38, but right now he is just a baby. He hangs out with my sister Gertie who is a baby Alligator and they do Baby Things like roll around on their backs and wave their legs around in the air in a dumb way and sometimes throw up. babies are not all that awesome.

Here is some stuff that I think babies should do which WOULD make them way more awesome

• Jump off the ceiling fan while it is spinning around real fast so they fly through the air (maybe with capes)
• Give a TV Weather Report where they throw up on the map where they think it is going to snow
• Learn to talk and not just make dumb noises that dont make any sense
  
• Stay awake for like more than ten minutes
• Live in the Microwave and put up a little red flag outside it when they need their diapers changed
  
• Get some better toys
• Glow in the dark
  
• When they are supposed to be playing Luigi they could at least TRY to get the good turtle shells and stuff while I am trying to be Mario and drive the Mario Kart instead of just flopping around and drooling on the video game buttons

That is all I can think of right now for ways to make babies not be so boring.

I went on a big boat full of humans

It was a while ago like in Kinda Warm Time but before Real Hot Time. ((This is going to be like a pretty good story if you want to get some popcorn and stuff.)))

OK so anyway I went on a big old boat full of big old humans. Renee said it was a Boat but I have never seen a boat like that so Im pretty sure she was lying. It was way too big to be a real boat. It was more like a spaceship but it went in some water and had like 80 gazillion food places where the humans would line up all day long. They tried and tried real hard every day, but they just could not eat all the food on the Watership!! I am going to call it Watership now because that sounds way cooler.

Somtimes the Watership would stop moving and it would stay in one place for a while. Then some of the humans would walk onto the place and buy things. Some other humans would keep trying to finish eating all the food on the Watership but haha they never did.

Here are some things the humans liked to do when they were on the Watership.

1. Flop around in some water ON TOP of the Watership but not the REAL WATER
   
2. Buy shiny things
3. Take pictures of stuff
4. Lie on one of these white chair thingies
5. Flip over onto bald ugly human belly and lie on the white chair thingie some more
   
6. Try to eat all the fishes ever, especially those scary ones that wear armor and have googley eyes
   
7. Make other humans bring them stuff on trays
8. Sign their names on pieces of paper

Here are some things the humans DID NOT DO and I dont understand why

1. Do big belly flop into the Ocean (Real Water)
   
2. Watch TV
   
3. Try to get the Watership Captain to make the Watership fly into Space
4. Get the Watership Captain Hat
5. Look for one of those Jungley TV shows at one of the stopping places
6. Play video games
7. Also they never figured out what kind of Magic was making all the food appear which I probably could have figured out if I tried because I have seen those shows where the guys figure stuff out by making stuff explode
8. Make stuff explode

I forgot what this list was supposed to be about. Anyway. I will tell you more about the Watership later on OK?

My Job, An Update!

OH man you guys, Siena's Baboo just told me about the most awesome job and I totally want it.

Hey I heard of another cool job for you today. You could be a cocoa harvester. The guy on the radio said that monkeys with machetes make great cocoa pickers. Okay, technically you are a Gorilla, but gorilla's are bigger than monkeys. That means they should do a better job. And guess what! They wrap the cocoa pods in banana skins to dry. So I guess that means the pickers get to eat the bananas to get the skins. Sounds right up your alley, right?

I feel kinda bad for all you dummies who did not give me cool ideas like this. How do you get a job anyway? I dont know if I really want to have a career and stuff right now but I will make a Plan about it. I also have Plans about other things for example if I was going to make one of those small movies I see on TV sometimes that only last three minutes and have a song playing. These are my Plans about what would make really good small music movies.

RARRRGHHHH All Right Mate
---I have a Mohawk and some safety pins on me, and I jump up and down alot . Music doesnt really matter but it has to be kind of fast and awesome with guitars. I might smash some stuff. Humans in the audience are going TOTALLY NUTS about my smashing the stuff & they love it more than whatever I was playing before

Even My Toothbrush Has Diamonds All Over it (this kind of hurts my mouth though)
---I have a big shiny necklace with lots of diamonds in the shape of a banana that is so heavy I cant really move. But I am strong so I stick my head out of a big fancy Limo-Zine Car which moves me around (cause of the heavy necklance i cant really walk anywhere) and I talk kinda fast. Lots of girls in small shorts are hanging around for some reason. At the end of the small music movie, the song stops playing and there is like a dramatic car crash or some helicopters fly out over some water and buildings and my name comes on the screen all like DJ KOKO

My dad Thinks I am not that Pretty
-I am a girl who plays piano real hard, and my voice goes up and down a lot and I have a couple of tattooe thingies, Might need to think more about this one because I dont really like girls

Dude, Who Drank All the Fresca
-I play a guitar, kinda slow and Im not all that good at it, but there are ocean sounds in the background and there are lots of trees and mountains and junk in this movie. Some humans with yellow hair get on surfboards and stuff. They make a fire and laugh a lot about nothing I can figure out really.

This is all I can think of for now but please dont tell anyone about this secret Plan ok I dont want any dumb humans messing up my small movies.

What i shoud Be When I Grow Up

I have decided that I should start to think about what I want for a Career. I heard that Careers are things you do when you get old and you dont want to have fun any more. I think that sounds kind of dumb but I guess it would also be dumb not to know what my Career is going to be. I dont have to start it right away or anything!!

Here are some ideas I have so far but if you have one you can let me know!

What do you think of these!

1. Captain of a Big Boat (only if special hat is included obviously)
2. Cooker of Food In Restaurants (good food)
3. Have my own TV Show where I do exciting stuff like catch alligators with a small piece of string, or jump off a cliff and get rescued in the air by some parrots that have escaped from a dangerous Pirate Ship
4. Tree Sitter (take care of some nice trees)
5. Superhero (need a cape and maybe need to learn a Superpower???! Some Superheros get these by getting in an accident with glowy radiation poison or getting bit by spiders I think? Need to look this up)
6. One of those animal doctors who gives shots to Hippos
7. Cool Guy in Movie with Sunglasses (note: I might meet a pretty girl and open a car door for her, then when I close it I knock on the car TWO TIMES to tell the driver it is OK To Go Now.)
8. Cool Guitar Player (Doesnt look that hard to play those things you just hit the strings a lot I think)
9. Super-Secret Boss Boxer on Wii Sports
10. Spaceship Captain (like Boat Captain except different hat)
11. Turtle Surfer
12. Smartypants Science Guy with Glasses
13. Fruit Tester
14. Grocery Store Person (slide stuff over a thing that beeps, push buttons)
15. Cool Police Guy (also might need sunglasses for this job. I sometimes solve awesome cases but sometimes I have to wear my badge on a necklace? note: look this up too)
16. Race Car Driver (awesome)
17. Ice Cream Tester
18. Dude at hotel who takes suitcases (they have neat carts with tall poles on them and they are shiny) (special hat)
19. American Gladiator
20. Construction Guy (special hat) (hammers and stuff are cool)
21. Guy who makes pizzas by throwing a big old pile of squishy dough in the air to make a circle
22. TV Weather Guy (need to grow eyebrows and figure out how to point real good at pictures of clouds and find out who Superdopplar is)

OK thats all I can think of for now. I am pretty tired from thinking of careers. This is hard.

I Am A Generous Gorilla

Check out all of these Christmas Presents! This is the stuff I gave to some of the humans. I wrapped them up all by myself!







Aunt Sandi helped too kinda

Frankies Art Show

OK Hi Again and stuff like that. I am pressing buttons on this thing again because I am so Annoyed!! Frankie wont stop drawing Pictures on everything!! I went to the kitchen to try and make this new kind of Milk-Shake I saw a lady make on TV and dont tell Renee because i am Not Allowed to Use the Blender Ever Again really but anyway I wrote down some pretty good notes with my Sharpy Pen on some paper when I saw the Milk-Shake that the TV lady did and when I went to read my notes Frankie had drawn a Picture on it!! It was a Picture of a stupid tree with some owls instead of leaves which FIRST OF ALL doesnt even exist and SECOND is just real stupid overall, and I could not read my good Milk-Shake notes!!!!!! Please make him stop making Pictures all over everything. I took the pencil and hid it but then I needed to use the pencil and forgot I was hiding it and he found it again and made some kind of Self-Portrayt and I am putting it here so you guys can all see that he is not even good at making Pictures in the first place. Frankie saw some kind of show on TV where some artists had a gallery show and now he wants to use the mail (???) to send his Pictures to people so they will give him a gallery show. I told him that they dont let stuffed hippos have gallery shows in fancy citys so now he is trying to hang these stupid Pictures everywhere in the house. These Pictures are all just crazy and do not make any sense like not even just sort of weird but Real Weird. Like not even TV Weird but Too Weird for TV Weird. I need some advice on how to get him to stop having dreams about his future career and being an artist and stuff and just go back to playing videogames and bouncing on the couch OK Thanks

Pop Quiz

Can you tell which one is Marvin and which one is Martin? I can't! Please help!

Check out this guy we saw at the Zoo!

We saw him eating some Popcorn when we went to the ZOO in Washington D-C!! Isnt he the awesomest Popcorn-Getter you have ever seen.

proof Frankie can not Read

Ready to Launch into SPACE

I know I am putting alot of Stuff on my Computernet place today which is kinda wierd but I think all the superFANS out there need something awsome to look at and read sometimes. So I am going to help them out because I am a pretty nice Gorilla who helps fans. So here is another picture for you to look at and think is awesome. This is me and my brothers and my cousin and we are SPACEMEN who are going to SPACE and possibly the Moon OK. Pretend like we did not make these cool spacemen costumes out of stuff at Aunt Sandi's house. I am the handsome Gorilla pictured and my cousin is the skinny wacky looking monkey thing in front of me. Frankie is the big fat hippo and Clyde is the nerdy orangumutangatan behind me.

OUTER SPACE!!!!!

AND Do not Forget the Pancakes

This is me and Geoffrey eating Breakfast Items at Nana's Kitchen!!! Well as you can see Geoffrey is being real greedy and eating all of the pancakes and other Items while I sit and look pretty cute and hungry. If you were sitting next to me wouldnt you want to give me at least some of the French Bread. Or toast or something. ANYWAY this is how it is there with the Breakfast and stuff. I thought it was cool that we could have banana muffins and other food like all the time in the morning and we could put this sweet sticky stuff all over it that tasted kind of like a tree made out of brown sugar. It was weird and I dont think it is real Gorilla Food but I guess it is OK for me to eat since I was trying out Breakfast Items. The humans never really make me PanCakes or French Bread or anything here!!! Renee makes Coffee and she has to have it straight away or else she gets real MAD. I think maybe I should see if I can go back to the cold place again soon for more of the PanCakes. Grampy made me one PanCake shaped like Frankie which made me laugh!!! I thought it was real funny. The Frankie Pancake was pretty tasty and Frankie pretty much fell over when he saw me bite its head off!!! OK it WAS a big bite but it was totally worth it

A Fun Game to Play

Here is a pretty funny game I thought of today while I was eating Renee's carrots ps please do not tell her that I am the one who ate them and also please do not tell her to look here for a while

OK HERE IS THE GAME

Geoffrey and Renee like video games a lot!! See if you can guess who wants to buy each one!?

1. Murdering Zombies at the Mall
2. DEATH ZOMBIE AMBULANCE
3. Superninja Fighty Fight
4. Fluffy Bunny Hopppy Hop hop
5. Return of Superninja Fighty FIght (DEATHSWORD)
6. Lame Kissy Kiss Romantic Hearts and Lollipops Forever
7. Cars Blow UP!!! --with some Werewolfs
8. Puppy CUTEMATCH 2000
9. Poniez and Rainbowz IV
10. HIT STUFF WITH HEAVY PIPES or BRICKS alot

How many points can u get from these?? I will reveal the Amazing Mystery answer next time!