OK whatever you were doing before STOP because this is a totally important thing
A SPIDER TRIED TO EAT MY AUNT SANDI
no really IT TRIED TO EAT HER and it was big and brown and ugly and her arms and legs are probly going to fall off and this is serious!
Make sure you take a good look at this picture that I pretty much stole from someplace and remember what this guy looks like because we are going to TAKE HIM DOWN!!! He lives in Arizona and he has skinny legs and will try to eat your face off but i figure if we all get together and bring some shovels or big rubber boots or one of Geoffrey's big books about math or whatever and stuff then we can smash it! Then it will not try to eat my Aunt Sandi ever again! This is like a big serious news story that you will probly hear on the news and stuff so you will know for sure then that I am serious about this she had to go the hospital and everything.
Aunt Sandi don't worry we will Take Care Of It (pretend like I am winking at you right now OK Aunt Sandi like making you think that I probably will kill the spider and not try to talk to it or give it a hug or ask it about its Deep Feelings or whatever Renee would probly do)
If there is one thing Frankie can do, he can do what I tell him, so I am going to tell him to get a big rock and go to Arizona to smash the spider. I will go along to tell him other stuff to do and we will have to take Clyde because he's a lot smarter than us really (but still he is a nerd) and I guess Frankie will have to take his new "Lady Friend" so she can see him rescue Aunt Sandi and be all impressed. This new girl hippo is here and all she does is sleep on the couch so I think she is totally boring but Frankie thinks she is pretty and is always trying to get her attention by doing flips on the chair and beating Rocky at Mario Kart and stuff like that, but she just sleeps through it and snores a little.
When we go to Arizona I think we should bring the tent because we will be doing a lot of wilderness surivival and eating leaves and berries or whatever you do when you go camping and go on a deadly mission of Revenge to take out the spider that tried to eat your Aunt Sandi.
I was going to put more words on here about our vacation but that stupid spider ruined everything! Maybe I will talk more about it after we Take Him Down.
