Party Suprise!!!

GUESS WHAT you guys! My grammy and grampy are the best humans because they sent me a box of stuff in the People Mail and it had MY name on it so it is For Me okay. I opened it up all by myself with the sizzors until Geoffrey got mad and said remember how I am not sposed to use scizzors cause of the thing with my sister Gertie only having four hairs instead of five and that was definitly NOT ME OKAY but anyway how else do I open a big old box with no scizzors? I dont have any claws, you guys.

There is a letter inside! FOR ME, and it is about how this stuff is for a Party Suprise and I can give out presents. I bet you maybe are too dumb to know this but a Party Suprise is different from a Suprise Party because it's like Hey guys this is a party for everybody and also it is a suprise, yay! And it is not Hey buddy we are hiding and we jump out and yell SUPRISE for your party and scare you. Just get that straight okay.

The presents in this People Mail box were not all for me, KoKO. But that is okay, I am pretty genrous and I at least got to give out the presents and be the cool guy.


Geoffrey got some small bottles with brown stuff inside and he was pretty excited about those.

Renee got a different kind of box. I dont know you guys. It is a smaller box inside the bigger box and it has colors on it?? Whatever.

But anyway that is boring, LOOK AT MY THING. It is way cool. It is like a game about zoo animals and you have to figure out what animal somebody else got so you can win. The first animal I got was RHINO which I think I hit the button wrong so I had to try it again a few times but the next animal I got was SNAKE and that was funny cause I can act like a snake and crawl around.

Geoffrey got LION and he is wierd, he started singing like the Lion King music in the start of that movie. That is not what a Lion sounds like and also there are like seven jillion different animals in that movie, smartiepants guy Geoffrey. But I guess the movie is named about Lions so whatever. Do you think he cheated. It only really matters what I think because it is my game and I am in charge of it but I am just wondering I guess.

Presents for me! Party suprise! YAY!!!!!!!


The Lion King is a pretty good movie you guys

Math is Totally Easy

I am pretty good at different stuff and lately I have figured out that I am Excellent at doing Math! Math sounds hard but it totally isnt, it is all How Many Bananas Do You Have Left If You Give One To Ralph and stuff like that. I guess it would be hard if you were a real dummy though. I am so Excellent that Geoffrey helped me write on peoples math tests to tell them whether they were real dumb or just sort of dumb. I guess when they do Math in Geoffreys class they have to write in this weird flat blue book with not many pages in it. I don't know why they can't just write on regular paper?? I will have to ask Geoffrey later. Anyway so I wrote some good helpful comments on the Math Tests and here are some examples.

• Wrong - Try to be right next time
• 3 + 3 Doesnt Equal 5, Dummy
• Maybe if you werent so ugly it wouldn't matter if you were this bad at Math
• Right - Good Job (but not Excellent)
• Stop doing so bad at tests
• If you are so dumb you cant do a fraction then jab that pencil in your face
• Pretty good - but write your numbers better next time

So these are pretty helpful test comments and I think Geoffrey might let me grade more!

Oh yeah and P.S. to my superfans i have started my own page on Twitter. It is like making my own computer page only way shorter and easier so that is pretty awesome. Please be my fan and try not to make me look totally uncool in front of the Twitter people OK? Twitter is going to make me super popular and famous.

Do you guys want to see my PassPort

pretty awesome right? Geoffrey had to help me make this PassPort because I went on a Vacation. Sometimes when you go on Vacation you have to have this tiny book that you dont read or anything but you sometimes let other people read it and it is all about you. And it has lots of blank pages (??? dont know why??) and they get real mad if you color on the pages I guess. Its supposed to be real official and stuff so I had to have Geoffrey help me out with mine and this is what it says inside the cover of the book. I had other books to look at but I guess the only one they want to see is the PassPort Book. Whatever!! Also thesePassPort books are all sideways. Dumb humans!!

I went on a big boat full of humans

It was a while ago like in Kinda Warm Time but before Real Hot Time. ((This is going to be like a pretty good story if you want to get some popcorn and stuff.)))

OK so anyway I went on a big old boat full of big old humans. Renee said it was a Boat but I have never seen a boat like that so Im pretty sure she was lying. It was way too big to be a real boat. It was more like a spaceship but it went in some water and had like 80 gazillion food places where the humans would line up all day long. They tried and tried real hard every day, but they just could not eat all the food on the Watership!! I am going to call it Watership now because that sounds way cooler.

Somtimes the Watership would stop moving and it would stay in one place for a while. Then some of the humans would walk onto the place and buy things. Some other humans would keep trying to finish eating all the food on the Watership but haha they never did.

Here are some things the humans liked to do when they were on the Watership.

1. Flop around in some water ON TOP of the Watership but not the REAL WATER
   
2. Buy shiny things
3. Take pictures of stuff
4. Lie on one of these white chair thingies
5. Flip over onto bald ugly human belly and lie on the white chair thingie some more
   
6. Try to eat all the fishes ever, especially those scary ones that wear armor and have googley eyes
   
7. Make other humans bring them stuff on trays
8. Sign their names on pieces of paper

Here are some things the humans DID NOT DO and I dont understand why

1. Do big belly flop into the Ocean (Real Water)
   
2. Watch TV
   
3. Try to get the Watership Captain to make the Watership fly into Space
4. Get the Watership Captain Hat
5. Look for one of those Jungley TV shows at one of the stopping places
6. Play video games
7. Also they never figured out what kind of Magic was making all the food appear which I probably could have figured out if I tried because I have seen those shows where the guys figure stuff out by making stuff explode
8. Make stuff explode

I forgot what this list was supposed to be about. Anyway. I will tell you more about the Watership later on OK?

AND Do not Forget the Pancakes

This is me and Geoffrey eating Breakfast Items at Nana's Kitchen!!! Well as you can see Geoffrey is being real greedy and eating all of the pancakes and other Items while I sit and look pretty cute and hungry. If you were sitting next to me wouldnt you want to give me at least some of the French Bread. Or toast or something. ANYWAY this is how it is there with the Breakfast and stuff. I thought it was cool that we could have banana muffins and other food like all the time in the morning and we could put this sweet sticky stuff all over it that tasted kind of like a tree made out of brown sugar. It was weird and I dont think it is real Gorilla Food but I guess it is OK for me to eat since I was trying out Breakfast Items. The humans never really make me PanCakes or French Bread or anything here!!! Renee makes Coffee and she has to have it straight away or else she gets real MAD. I think maybe I should see if I can go back to the cold place again soon for more of the PanCakes. Grampy made me one PanCake shaped like Frankie which made me laugh!!! I thought it was real funny. The Frankie Pancake was pretty tasty and Frankie pretty much fell over when he saw me bite its head off!!! OK it WAS a big bite but it was totally worth it

A Fun Game to Play

Here is a pretty funny game I thought of today while I was eating Renee's carrots ps please do not tell her that I am the one who ate them and also please do not tell her to look here for a while

OK HERE IS THE GAME

Geoffrey and Renee like video games a lot!! See if you can guess who wants to buy each one!?

1. Murdering Zombies at the Mall
2. DEATH ZOMBIE AMBULANCE
3. Superninja Fighty Fight
4. Fluffy Bunny Hopppy Hop hop
5. Return of Superninja Fighty FIght (DEATHSWORD)
6. Lame Kissy Kiss Romantic Hearts and Lollipops Forever
7. Cars Blow UP!!! --with some Werewolfs
8. Puppy CUTEMATCH 2000
9. Poniez and Rainbowz IV
10. HIT STUFF WITH HEAVY PIPES or BRICKS alot

How many points can u get from these?? I will reveal the Amazing Mystery answer next time!

real official certificate

Well I guess since my fans are so cool and awesome, I am going to have to present another SUPER AWESOME FAN award today. This Award is not only for a super good fan but also for the WORLDS BEST GRAMPA! Can you believe that my Grampy got me the best TShirt in the whole world! That is right! It says HIPPOS SUCK and it is so cool!! I am wearing it right now and I have not taken it off since it came for me in the Real Outside Mail (you know the kind where a guy like puts envelopes in a box for you but he doesn't like to come inside your house) and I always knew Grampy was the greatest because sometimes he would let me drive the car! I am a real good driver except I can only turn the big wheel. I have to have a human push the foot buttons to make it go.

So here is the WORLDS BEST GRAMPA official certificate and let me tell you something OK! I know that when I looked on the Internet and I did a Goggle search I saw that lots of fake awards have been given out. All of these old guys had cups that said Worlds Best Grampa but they did not really win an award! Those cheaters. This one is real and you can tell because I officially signed it and I officially drew a ribbon looking thing which means it is OFFICIAL and not FAKE.

I was going to have my brother Clyde take my photo-graph because he is the smartest one (yeah OK I know he is smarter than me big deal but he is kind of a dork too) and he can figure out how the camra works. But Clyde said it is broken. I was nervous at first because I knew the humans would be kinda mad if we broke their camra but Clyde said THEY broke it and it is OK. Anyway I can't take a photo-graph now so I will have to just wait to show you my awesome shirt but you can click on the LINK down there someplace and see a picture of it there OK.

I know you are probably wondering why I am up so early on a Saturday! I know you are. That is because Geoffrey had to go to Teacher School today real early and he was sort of grumpy about having to get up early and sort of stomping around in his sandals. So I woke up a little early. I guess I would be mad if I had to go to school too. Why do the humans always go to SCHOOL so much? I mean have they even heard of TV?!? You can learn everything worth knowing on TV anyway so whats the big deal. Plus if Teachers have to go to school then that is pretty crazy.

Geoffrey likes to talk about math a lot so that is why I decided to make a pretty good Math question for this post. Here we go!

If there was a super giant human, how many ironing boards would he need to make the Alps Mountains get all flat?

a. One
b. Zero
c. Three Jazillion Million
d. Googleplex

Make sure to use a pencil and paper OK! Answer next time! I'm not going to post a hint for dummies because you should really be able to get this one and if you needed a hint for it you would just feel real embarassed.

super surprise announcement

Today I am going to make a SUPER BIG ANNOUNCEMENT about a special human prize I just now decided to give out to someone very cool. Please take your ugly bald human fingers and tap them real fast on your desk or table or whatever so it sounds exciting like there are drum rolls.

The winner of best human award is AUNT SANDI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's right Aunt Sandi I would like to officially give you this special award I decided to give you since you sent me the COOLEST postcard thingie on my, I mean Renee's, Computer Mail.

If anyone else wants an awesome prize like this they will have to send me Computer Mail or maybe some kind of fruit basket in Real Outside Mail. But you still won't really get the BEST prize because you didn't think of it first like Sandi did ok.

If you want to know why the prize is green it is because RAIN FORESTS are green and also I could not find a blue marker. The humans have kind of a mess here and I can not seem to find the color markers and the finger paints. Geoffrey said not to use finger paints on the printer thing (it has some glass that you put a picture on and it remembers it and describes it to the Computer which is pretty neat) or else he will get real mad.

The neat postcard thing that BEST HUMAN aunt Sandi sent me had a picture of the gorilla I was named after and also the gorilla had a kitten on her HEAD which was so cute I cant even tell you. Maybe later I will give it to the printer so it can remember it real good but I don't know if it will work because it is a super cute picture and it might be hard for the printer to remember?