Do you guys want to see my PassPort

pretty awesome right? Geoffrey had to help me make this PassPort because I went on a Vacation. Sometimes when you go on Vacation you have to have this tiny book that you dont read or anything but you sometimes let other people read it and it is all about you. And it has lots of blank pages (??? dont know why??) and they get real mad if you color on the pages I guess. Its supposed to be real official and stuff so I had to have Geoffrey help me out with mine and this is what it says inside the cover of the book. I had other books to look at but I guess the only one they want to see is the PassPort Book. Whatever!! Also thesePassPort books are all sideways. Dumb humans!!

Stuff Babies Do

Attention Fans. I have a baby brother who is named Ike. I guess he is a baby Rhino-Saurus which I think is a kind of Dinosaur but like more lame and with less museum bones. Maybe someday he will be a big scary Rhino-Saurus and be in a movie like Jurassic Park 38, but right now he is just a baby. He hangs out with my sister Gertie who is a baby Alligator and they do Baby Things like roll around on their backs and wave their legs around in the air in a dumb way and sometimes throw up. babies are not all that awesome.

Here is some stuff that I think babies should do which WOULD make them way more awesome

• Jump off the ceiling fan while it is spinning around real fast so they fly through the air (maybe with capes)
• Give a TV Weather Report where they throw up on the map where they think it is going to snow
• Learn to talk and not just make dumb noises that dont make any sense
  
• Stay awake for like more than ten minutes
• Live in the Microwave and put up a little red flag outside it when they need their diapers changed
  
• Get some better toys
• Glow in the dark
  
• When they are supposed to be playing Luigi they could at least TRY to get the good turtle shells and stuff while I am trying to be Mario and drive the Mario Kart instead of just flopping around and drooling on the video game buttons

That is all I can think of right now for ways to make babies not be so boring.

I went on a big boat full of humans

It was a while ago like in Kinda Warm Time but before Real Hot Time. ((This is going to be like a pretty good story if you want to get some popcorn and stuff.)))

OK so anyway I went on a big old boat full of big old humans. Renee said it was a Boat but I have never seen a boat like that so Im pretty sure she was lying. It was way too big to be a real boat. It was more like a spaceship but it went in some water and had like 80 gazillion food places where the humans would line up all day long. They tried and tried real hard every day, but they just could not eat all the food on the Watership!! I am going to call it Watership now because that sounds way cooler.

Somtimes the Watership would stop moving and it would stay in one place for a while. Then some of the humans would walk onto the place and buy things. Some other humans would keep trying to finish eating all the food on the Watership but haha they never did.

Here are some things the humans liked to do when they were on the Watership.

1. Flop around in some water ON TOP of the Watership but not the REAL WATER
   
2. Buy shiny things
3. Take pictures of stuff
4. Lie on one of these white chair thingies
5. Flip over onto bald ugly human belly and lie on the white chair thingie some more
   
6. Try to eat all the fishes ever, especially those scary ones that wear armor and have googley eyes
   
7. Make other humans bring them stuff on trays
8. Sign their names on pieces of paper

Here are some things the humans DID NOT DO and I dont understand why

1. Do big belly flop into the Ocean (Real Water)
   
2. Watch TV
   
3. Try to get the Watership Captain to make the Watership fly into Space
4. Get the Watership Captain Hat
5. Look for one of those Jungley TV shows at one of the stopping places
6. Play video games
7. Also they never figured out what kind of Magic was making all the food appear which I probably could have figured out if I tried because I have seen those shows where the guys figure stuff out by making stuff explode
8. Make stuff explode

I forgot what this list was supposed to be about. Anyway. I will tell you more about the Watership later on OK?

My Job, An Update!

OH man you guys, Siena's Baboo just told me about the most awesome job and I totally want it.

Hey I heard of another cool job for you today. You could be a cocoa harvester. The guy on the radio said that monkeys with machetes make great cocoa pickers. Okay, technically you are a Gorilla, but gorilla's are bigger than monkeys. That means they should do a better job. And guess what! They wrap the cocoa pods in banana skins to dry. So I guess that means the pickers get to eat the bananas to get the skins. Sounds right up your alley, right?

I feel kinda bad for all you dummies who did not give me cool ideas like this. How do you get a job anyway? I dont know if I really want to have a career and stuff right now but I will make a Plan about it. I also have Plans about other things for example if I was going to make one of those small movies I see on TV sometimes that only last three minutes and have a song playing. These are my Plans about what would make really good small music movies.

RARRRGHHHH All Right Mate
---I have a Mohawk and some safety pins on me, and I jump up and down alot . Music doesnt really matter but it has to be kind of fast and awesome with guitars. I might smash some stuff. Humans in the audience are going TOTALLY NUTS about my smashing the stuff & they love it more than whatever I was playing before

Even My Toothbrush Has Diamonds All Over it (this kind of hurts my mouth though)
---I have a big shiny necklace with lots of diamonds in the shape of a banana that is so heavy I cant really move. But I am strong so I stick my head out of a big fancy Limo-Zine Car which moves me around (cause of the heavy necklance i cant really walk anywhere) and I talk kinda fast. Lots of girls in small shorts are hanging around for some reason. At the end of the small music movie, the song stops playing and there is like a dramatic car crash or some helicopters fly out over some water and buildings and my name comes on the screen all like DJ KOKO

My dad Thinks I am not that Pretty
-I am a girl who plays piano real hard, and my voice goes up and down a lot and I have a couple of tattooe thingies, Might need to think more about this one because I dont really like girls

Dude, Who Drank All the Fresca
-I play a guitar, kinda slow and Im not all that good at it, but there are ocean sounds in the background and there are lots of trees and mountains and junk in this movie. Some humans with yellow hair get on surfboards and stuff. They make a fire and laugh a lot about nothing I can figure out really.

This is all I can think of for now but please dont tell anyone about this secret Plan ok I dont want any dumb humans messing up my small movies.

What i shoud Be When I Grow Up

I have decided that I should start to think about what I want for a Career. I heard that Careers are things you do when you get old and you dont want to have fun any more. I think that sounds kind of dumb but I guess it would also be dumb not to know what my Career is going to be. I dont have to start it right away or anything!!

Here are some ideas I have so far but if you have one you can let me know!

What do you think of these!

1. Captain of a Big Boat (only if special hat is included obviously)
2. Cooker of Food In Restaurants (good food)
3. Have my own TV Show where I do exciting stuff like catch alligators with a small piece of string, or jump off a cliff and get rescued in the air by some parrots that have escaped from a dangerous Pirate Ship
4. Tree Sitter (take care of some nice trees)
5. Superhero (need a cape and maybe need to learn a Superpower???! Some Superheros get these by getting in an accident with glowy radiation poison or getting bit by spiders I think? Need to look this up)
6. One of those animal doctors who gives shots to Hippos
7. Cool Guy in Movie with Sunglasses (note: I might meet a pretty girl and open a car door for her, then when I close it I knock on the car TWO TIMES to tell the driver it is OK To Go Now.)
8. Cool Guitar Player (Doesnt look that hard to play those things you just hit the strings a lot I think)
9. Super-Secret Boss Boxer on Wii Sports
10. Spaceship Captain (like Boat Captain except different hat)
11. Turtle Surfer
12. Smartypants Science Guy with Glasses
13. Fruit Tester
14. Grocery Store Person (slide stuff over a thing that beeps, push buttons)
15. Cool Police Guy (also might need sunglasses for this job. I sometimes solve awesome cases but sometimes I have to wear my badge on a necklace? note: look this up too)
16. Race Car Driver (awesome)
17. Ice Cream Tester
18. Dude at hotel who takes suitcases (they have neat carts with tall poles on them and they are shiny) (special hat)
19. American Gladiator
20. Construction Guy (special hat) (hammers and stuff are cool)
21. Guy who makes pizzas by throwing a big old pile of squishy dough in the air to make a circle
22. TV Weather Guy (need to grow eyebrows and figure out how to point real good at pictures of clouds and find out who Superdopplar is)

OK thats all I can think of for now. I am pretty tired from thinking of careers. This is hard.

I Am A Generous Gorilla

Check out all of these Christmas Presents! This is the stuff I gave to some of the humans. I wrapped them up all by myself!







Aunt Sandi helped too kinda

Frankies Art Show

OK Hi Again and stuff like that. I am pressing buttons on this thing again because I am so Annoyed!! Frankie wont stop drawing Pictures on everything!! I went to the kitchen to try and make this new kind of Milk-Shake I saw a lady make on TV and dont tell Renee because i am Not Allowed to Use the Blender Ever Again really but anyway I wrote down some pretty good notes with my Sharpy Pen on some paper when I saw the Milk-Shake that the TV lady did and when I went to read my notes Frankie had drawn a Picture on it!! It was a Picture of a stupid tree with some owls instead of leaves which FIRST OF ALL doesnt even exist and SECOND is just real stupid overall, and I could not read my good Milk-Shake notes!!!!!! Please make him stop making Pictures all over everything. I took the pencil and hid it but then I needed to use the pencil and forgot I was hiding it and he found it again and made some kind of Self-Portrayt and I am putting it here so you guys can all see that he is not even good at making Pictures in the first place. Frankie saw some kind of show on TV where some artists had a gallery show and now he wants to use the mail (???) to send his Pictures to people so they will give him a gallery show. I told him that they dont let stuffed hippos have gallery shows in fancy citys so now he is trying to hang these stupid Pictures everywhere in the house. These Pictures are all just crazy and do not make any sense like not even just sort of weird but Real Weird. Like not even TV Weird but Too Weird for TV Weird. I need some advice on how to get him to stop having dreams about his future career and being an artist and stuff and just go back to playing videogames and bouncing on the couch OK Thanks