HELP PLEASE

Guys I have to tell you that I am totally so MAD about something. This is the thing, OK? Are you paying attention? I know i havent made any new computer box thingies in a long time but I am SO MAD rite now that I had to make a new letter to you superfans about it! Here is the thing I am REAL MAD about!! The humans brought this disgusting hairy CATBEAST with sharp claws into the place where I live and they will not get rid of it! IT IS SO AWFUL you guys. I hate it. They let the catbeast roam all over wherever and all he does is Mess Stuff Up. He is messing up everything and I just don't like him at all. Here is some of the Stuff that he messed up so far: flowers, table, couch, trash, paper (both Regular and Toilet). Also he chews on stuff on the ground. He is totally dumb and doesnt know what food looks like. The humans think he is so wonderful and awesome. but they also think he is not going to tear up their faces with his knifey catbeast claws while they sleep. THEY ARE WRONG and they will probably soon be Dead. If they get Dead from the catbeast then I will need some of you fans to come get me, and my brothers and baby sister, and I guess Frankie. (maybe.)

I have some ideas about what to do about the catbeast so please tell me which idea i should do

IDEAS FOR GETTING RID OF EVIL CATBEAST

• Put bowl on floor. In the bowl is a bunch of dead mice. Tape some string to bowl. Hide behind door with other end of string. When catbeast starts eating dead mice, pull string out door until stupidhead catbeast goes outside. Close door. Laugh. PROS: Gets rid of catbeast forever. CONS: Where do I get bowl of dead mice? Need to look on computer box
  
• Get Frankie. Put lots of glue all over him. Put him in middle of floor. When catbeast tries to eat Frankie he will get stuck in the glue. Make Frankie take catbeast outside. PROS: Will probably be very funny; uses Frankie as bait. CONS: Frankie might get stuck to catbeast forever and this makes me feel kind of guilty
• Get big ball of tangled up string and put on kitchen floor. Get paper airplane and some kind of box. Take airplane and box and climb up to top of ReFrigemator. When catbeast comes to play with big ball of string (they like those right??) SWOOP DOWN FROM THE SKY on paper airplane and drop box on top of catbeast!! Dont tell humans where he is. PROS: This is the most Awesome idea I have ever had! CONS: None that I can see
• See if humans will get a dogbeast to eat the catbeast. Then I guess something bigger will need to eat dogbeast. Can they get a horse or rhinosserus. I wish dinosaurs were real. PROS: Real Life Animal Planet stuff. CONS: Dinosaurs not being real makes me sad

OK HELP PLEASE THANKS