Do you guys want to see my PassPort

pretty awesome right? Geoffrey had to help me make this PassPort because I went on a Vacation. Sometimes when you go on Vacation you have to have this tiny book that you dont read or anything but you sometimes let other people read it and it is all about you. And it has lots of blank pages (??? dont know why??) and they get real mad if you color on the pages I guess. Its supposed to be real official and stuff so I had to have Geoffrey help me out with mine and this is what it says inside the cover of the book. I had other books to look at but I guess the only one they want to see is the PassPort Book. Whatever!! Also thesePassPort books are all sideways. Dumb humans!!

Stuff Babies Do

Attention Fans. I have a baby brother who is named Ike. I guess he is a baby Rhino-Saurus which I think is a kind of Dinosaur but like more lame and with less museum bones. Maybe someday he will be a big scary Rhino-Saurus and be in a movie like Jurassic Park 38, but right now he is just a baby. He hangs out with my sister Gertie who is a baby Alligator and they do Baby Things like roll around on their backs and wave their legs around in the air in a dumb way and sometimes throw up. babies are not all that awesome.

Here is some stuff that I think babies should do which WOULD make them way more awesome

• Jump off the ceiling fan while it is spinning around real fast so they fly through the air (maybe with capes)
• Give a TV Weather Report where they throw up on the map where they think it is going to snow
• Learn to talk and not just make dumb noises that dont make any sense
  
• Stay awake for like more than ten minutes
• Live in the Microwave and put up a little red flag outside it when they need their diapers changed
  
• Get some better toys
• Glow in the dark
  
• When they are supposed to be playing Luigi they could at least TRY to get the good turtle shells and stuff while I am trying to be Mario and drive the Mario Kart instead of just flopping around and drooling on the video game buttons

That is all I can think of right now for ways to make babies not be so boring.

I went on a big boat full of humans

It was a while ago like in Kinda Warm Time but before Real Hot Time. ((This is going to be like a pretty good story if you want to get some popcorn and stuff.)))

OK so anyway I went on a big old boat full of big old humans. Renee said it was a Boat but I have never seen a boat like that so Im pretty sure she was lying. It was way too big to be a real boat. It was more like a spaceship but it went in some water and had like 80 gazillion food places where the humans would line up all day long. They tried and tried real hard every day, but they just could not eat all the food on the Watership!! I am going to call it Watership now because that sounds way cooler.

Somtimes the Watership would stop moving and it would stay in one place for a while. Then some of the humans would walk onto the place and buy things. Some other humans would keep trying to finish eating all the food on the Watership but haha they never did.

Here are some things the humans liked to do when they were on the Watership.

1. Flop around in some water ON TOP of the Watership but not the REAL WATER
   
2. Buy shiny things
3. Take pictures of stuff
4. Lie on one of these white chair thingies
5. Flip over onto bald ugly human belly and lie on the white chair thingie some more
   
6. Try to eat all the fishes ever, especially those scary ones that wear armor and have googley eyes
   
7. Make other humans bring them stuff on trays
8. Sign their names on pieces of paper

Here are some things the humans DID NOT DO and I dont understand why

1. Do big belly flop into the Ocean (Real Water)
   
2. Watch TV
   
3. Try to get the Watership Captain to make the Watership fly into Space
4. Get the Watership Captain Hat
5. Look for one of those Jungley TV shows at one of the stopping places
6. Play video games
7. Also they never figured out what kind of Magic was making all the food appear which I probably could have figured out if I tried because I have seen those shows where the guys figure stuff out by making stuff explode
8. Make stuff explode

I forgot what this list was supposed to be about. Anyway. I will tell you more about the Watership later on OK?

My Job, An Update!

OH man you guys, Siena's Baboo just told me about the most awesome job and I totally want it.

Hey I heard of another cool job for you today. You could be a cocoa harvester. The guy on the radio said that monkeys with machetes make great cocoa pickers. Okay, technically you are a Gorilla, but gorilla's are bigger than monkeys. That means they should do a better job. And guess what! They wrap the cocoa pods in banana skins to dry. So I guess that means the pickers get to eat the bananas to get the skins. Sounds right up your alley, right?

I feel kinda bad for all you dummies who did not give me cool ideas like this. How do you get a job anyway? I dont know if I really want to have a career and stuff right now but I will make a Plan about it. I also have Plans about other things for example if I was going to make one of those small movies I see on TV sometimes that only last three minutes and have a song playing. These are my Plans about what would make really good small music movies.

RARRRGHHHH All Right Mate
---I have a Mohawk and some safety pins on me, and I jump up and down alot . Music doesnt really matter but it has to be kind of fast and awesome with guitars. I might smash some stuff. Humans in the audience are going TOTALLY NUTS about my smashing the stuff & they love it more than whatever I was playing before

Even My Toothbrush Has Diamonds All Over it (this kind of hurts my mouth though)
---I have a big shiny necklace with lots of diamonds in the shape of a banana that is so heavy I cant really move. But I am strong so I stick my head out of a big fancy Limo-Zine Car which moves me around (cause of the heavy necklance i cant really walk anywhere) and I talk kinda fast. Lots of girls in small shorts are hanging around for some reason. At the end of the small music movie, the song stops playing and there is like a dramatic car crash or some helicopters fly out over some water and buildings and my name comes on the screen all like DJ KOKO

My dad Thinks I am not that Pretty
-I am a girl who plays piano real hard, and my voice goes up and down a lot and I have a couple of tattooe thingies, Might need to think more about this one because I dont really like girls

Dude, Who Drank All the Fresca
-I play a guitar, kinda slow and Im not all that good at it, but there are ocean sounds in the background and there are lots of trees and mountains and junk in this movie. Some humans with yellow hair get on surfboards and stuff. They make a fire and laugh a lot about nothing I can figure out really.

This is all I can think of for now but please dont tell anyone about this secret Plan ok I dont want any dumb humans messing up my small movies.

What i shoud Be When I Grow Up

I have decided that I should start to think about what I want for a Career. I heard that Careers are things you do when you get old and you dont want to have fun any more. I think that sounds kind of dumb but I guess it would also be dumb not to know what my Career is going to be. I dont have to start it right away or anything!!

Here are some ideas I have so far but if you have one you can let me know!

What do you think of these!

1. Captain of a Big Boat (only if special hat is included obviously)
2. Cooker of Food In Restaurants (good food)
3. Have my own TV Show where I do exciting stuff like catch alligators with a small piece of string, or jump off a cliff and get rescued in the air by some parrots that have escaped from a dangerous Pirate Ship
4. Tree Sitter (take care of some nice trees)
5. Superhero (need a cape and maybe need to learn a Superpower???! Some Superheros get these by getting in an accident with glowy radiation poison or getting bit by spiders I think? Need to look this up)
6. One of those animal doctors who gives shots to Hippos
7. Cool Guy in Movie with Sunglasses (note: I might meet a pretty girl and open a car door for her, then when I close it I knock on the car TWO TIMES to tell the driver it is OK To Go Now.)
8. Cool Guitar Player (Doesnt look that hard to play those things you just hit the strings a lot I think)
9. Super-Secret Boss Boxer on Wii Sports
10. Spaceship Captain (like Boat Captain except different hat)
11. Turtle Surfer
12. Smartypants Science Guy with Glasses
13. Fruit Tester
14. Grocery Store Person (slide stuff over a thing that beeps, push buttons)
15. Cool Police Guy (also might need sunglasses for this job. I sometimes solve awesome cases but sometimes I have to wear my badge on a necklace? note: look this up too)
16. Race Car Driver (awesome)
17. Ice Cream Tester
18. Dude at hotel who takes suitcases (they have neat carts with tall poles on them and they are shiny) (special hat)
19. American Gladiator
20. Construction Guy (special hat) (hammers and stuff are cool)
21. Guy who makes pizzas by throwing a big old pile of squishy dough in the air to make a circle
22. TV Weather Guy (need to grow eyebrows and figure out how to point real good at pictures of clouds and find out who Superdopplar is)

OK thats all I can think of for now. I am pretty tired from thinking of careers. This is hard.

I Am A Generous Gorilla

Check out all of these Christmas Presents! This is the stuff I gave to some of the humans. I wrapped them up all by myself!







Aunt Sandi helped too kinda

Frankies Art Show

OK Hi Again and stuff like that. I am pressing buttons on this thing again because I am so Annoyed!! Frankie wont stop drawing Pictures on everything!! I went to the kitchen to try and make this new kind of Milk-Shake I saw a lady make on TV and dont tell Renee because i am Not Allowed to Use the Blender Ever Again really but anyway I wrote down some pretty good notes with my Sharpy Pen on some paper when I saw the Milk-Shake that the TV lady did and when I went to read my notes Frankie had drawn a Picture on it!! It was a Picture of a stupid tree with some owls instead of leaves which FIRST OF ALL doesnt even exist and SECOND is just real stupid overall, and I could not read my good Milk-Shake notes!!!!!! Please make him stop making Pictures all over everything. I took the pencil and hid it but then I needed to use the pencil and forgot I was hiding it and he found it again and made some kind of Self-Portrayt and I am putting it here so you guys can all see that he is not even good at making Pictures in the first place. Frankie saw some kind of show on TV where some artists had a gallery show and now he wants to use the mail (???) to send his Pictures to people so they will give him a gallery show. I told him that they dont let stuffed hippos have gallery shows in fancy citys so now he is trying to hang these stupid Pictures everywhere in the house. These Pictures are all just crazy and do not make any sense like not even just sort of weird but Real Weird. Like not even TV Weird but Too Weird for TV Weird. I need some advice on how to get him to stop having dreams about his future career and being an artist and stuff and just go back to playing videogames and bouncing on the couch OK Thanks

Pop Quiz

Can you tell which one is Marvin and which one is Martin? I can't! Please help!

Check out this guy we saw at the Zoo!

We saw him eating some Popcorn when we went to the ZOO in Washington D-C!! Isnt he the awesomest Popcorn-Getter you have ever seen.

proof Frankie can not Read

Ready to Launch into SPACE

I know I am putting alot of Stuff on my Computernet place today which is kinda wierd but I think all the superFANS out there need something awsome to look at and read sometimes. So I am going to help them out because I am a pretty nice Gorilla who helps fans. So here is another picture for you to look at and think is awesome. This is me and my brothers and my cousin and we are SPACEMEN who are going to SPACE and possibly the Moon OK. Pretend like we did not make these cool spacemen costumes out of stuff at Aunt Sandi's house. I am the handsome Gorilla pictured and my cousin is the skinny wacky looking monkey thing in front of me. Frankie is the big fat hippo and Clyde is the nerdy orangumutangatan behind me.

OUTER SPACE!!!!!

AND Do not Forget the Pancakes

This is me and Geoffrey eating Breakfast Items at Nana's Kitchen!!! Well as you can see Geoffrey is being real greedy and eating all of the pancakes and other Items while I sit and look pretty cute and hungry. If you were sitting next to me wouldnt you want to give me at least some of the French Bread. Or toast or something. ANYWAY this is how it is there with the Breakfast and stuff. I thought it was cool that we could have banana muffins and other food like all the time in the morning and we could put this sweet sticky stuff all over it that tasted kind of like a tree made out of brown sugar. It was weird and I dont think it is real Gorilla Food but I guess it is OK for me to eat since I was trying out Breakfast Items. The humans never really make me PanCakes or French Bread or anything here!!! Renee makes Coffee and she has to have it straight away or else she gets real MAD. I think maybe I should see if I can go back to the cold place again soon for more of the PanCakes. Grampy made me one PanCake shaped like Frankie which made me laugh!!! I thought it was real funny. The Frankie Pancake was pretty tasty and Frankie pretty much fell over when he saw me bite its head off!!! OK it WAS a big bite but it was totally worth it

A Fun Game to Play

Here is a pretty funny game I thought of today while I was eating Renee's carrots ps please do not tell her that I am the one who ate them and also please do not tell her to look here for a while

OK HERE IS THE GAME

Geoffrey and Renee like video games a lot!! See if you can guess who wants to buy each one!?

1. Murdering Zombies at the Mall
2. DEATH ZOMBIE AMBULANCE
3. Superninja Fighty Fight
4. Fluffy Bunny Hopppy Hop hop
5. Return of Superninja Fighty FIght (DEATHSWORD)
6. Lame Kissy Kiss Romantic Hearts and Lollipops Forever
7. Cars Blow UP!!! --with some Werewolfs
8. Puppy CUTEMATCH 2000
9. Poniez and Rainbowz IV
10. HIT STUFF WITH HEAVY PIPES or BRICKS alot

How many points can u get from these?? I will reveal the Amazing Mystery answer next time!

humans are weird

Jelly Bean Spots Game

Ok so HELLO to everyone and all of my fans who have been real mad that they have not had any computer stuff to look at for a super long time! I got pretty bored doing computer stuff and plus my brothers were playing this cool game where you go to the drying machine and put in some jelly beans and watch how mad the humans get when their shirts and stuff have pretty colors all over them. I do not know why they would Hate the color spots from jelly beans! BUT ANYWAY I got bored with Jelly Bean Spot Game and so I will try out doing computers again. I feel bad about all of those fans who have had nothing to read on the ComputerNet for a long long time.

I have a new brother who is a baby Penguin. He is sort of weird. I don't know if I like Penguins. They are like birds but they do not fly??

BUT my big newsflash is that I have a house now!!! It is pretty cool and also the humans live here. The best part of the whole house is the room where humans make food. This room has a really cool floor that you can totally slide across all the way! If you run real fast from one door you can slide over to the other door and it is so awesome! I am pretty sure that this is why the humans decided to live here.

In a little while I am going to visit the cold place again where I used to live. I am going to see some superfans and probably sign some Auto-Graffs and maybe try out the floors to see how far you can slide.

I forgot how to look at this computer place and I tried to push the buttons to spell out CAPTAIN KOKO . BOOGERSPOT . COM . ha ha ha. It did not work

i am PRETTY UPSET

OK whatever you were doing before STOP because this is a totally important thing

A SPIDER TRIED TO EAT MY AUNT SANDI

no really IT TRIED TO EAT HER and it was big and brown and ugly and her arms and legs are probly going to fall off and this is serious!

Make sure you take a good look at this picture that I pretty much stole from someplace and remember what this guy looks like because we are going to TAKE HIM DOWN!!! He lives in Arizona and he has skinny legs and will try to eat your face off but i figure if we all get together and bring some shovels or big rubber boots or one of Geoffrey's big books about math or whatever and stuff then we can smash it! Then it will not try to eat my Aunt Sandi ever again! This is like a big serious news story that you will probly hear on the news and stuff so you will know for sure then that I am serious about this she had to go the hospital and everything.

Aunt Sandi don't worry we will Take Care Of It (pretend like I am winking at you right now OK Aunt Sandi like making you think that I probably will kill the spider and not try to talk to it or give it a hug or ask it about its Deep Feelings or whatever Renee would probly do)

If there is one thing Frankie can do, he can do what I tell him, so I am going to tell him to get a big rock and go to Arizona to smash the spider. I will go along to tell him other stuff to do and we will have to take Clyde because he's a lot smarter than us really (but still he is a nerd) and I guess Frankie will have to take his new "Lady Friend" so she can see him rescue Aunt Sandi and be all impressed. This new girl hippo is here and all she does is sleep on the couch so I think she is totally boring but Frankie thinks she is pretty and is always trying to get her attention by doing flips on the chair and beating Rocky at Mario Kart and stuff like that, but she just sleeps through it and snores a little.

When we go to Arizona I think we should bring the tent because we will be doing a lot of wilderness surivival and eating leaves and berries or whatever you do when you go camping and go on a deadly mission of Revenge to take out the spider that tried to eat your Aunt Sandi.

I was going to put more words on here about our vacation but that stupid spider ruined everything! Maybe I will talk more about it after we Take Him Down.

ATTENTION FANS

I am on vacation right now in the place where Grampy and Grammy live. Guess What! Every day I get to eat some good breakfast with bananas in it like banana pancakes or something! ALSO today I totally got to eat a Mango which was awesome.

There is a dog here named Casey. He drools a little bit kind of like Frankie. HA HA Anyway we are going to go camping soon I hope because my Super Fans Amanda and Larry Oligny got me a tent that is just for ME!! No humans can even FIT inside it because it is perfect Koko size OK just for me to fit in and sleep inside or whatever I want to do. I dont want Frankie to keep getting in though because it confuses him and he thinks it is a big bubble and then he has weird dreams and one time yesterday he told me that he had a Secret Mission now because he slept inside the bubble for a little while. Oh man is he weird.

I got to write on the board at the kitchen place! It was AWESOME and I drew a picture of Frankie with a big red line through it so he could know that he was not allowed. I was going to write some words to make fun of him but then I remembered that would be dumb because he cant read anyway.

Ladybugs are so dumb. I dont like them. Do you know what they do: They bounce around on the walls and stuff like all the time and then I think they have ladybug meetings by the windows and curtains that are Mandatory because they all show up. I will try to think about this some more later but right now I am on Vacation and need to relax my brain. It is pretty tired and I think I need some more mango juice.

weird things are happening

Well our house has been officially INVADED because Renee adopted two more animals and they are both Girls! I don't know why she thought I had to have a couple of sisters but whatever! There is a grizzly bear named Gretchen and oh yeah a Panda named Ya-Ya and they stick together and whisper stuff about us. I don't know if I like them! I guess I don't have a choice because they're my Sisters but that doesnt mean they can be my best friends or anything right! I do have one other sister Gertie but she is just a baby so she doesn't count as a Girl. If she could talk she would be all like "Oh I have been asleep for the last week but now Im going to wake up and try to figure out whether my feet are attached to me before eating some mush and going back to sleep for the rest of the month" because she is a baby. These other new sisters are Girls and I just dont know about all of this. Me and my brothers had a secret meeting under the computer table which I guess is kind of our clubhouse now since we have to find a place where no Girls can be and we said that we don't know what we are going to do about Girls being in the house!

The worst thing is that they are pretty good at Mario Kart too! Of course they picked the dumb Princesses in their stupid Pink Flowery Heart Car and they beat me and Clyde like four times! I got pretty mad and told Clyde I needed a better partner so he made Frankie take his place. I thought that was going to SUCK but then it turns out Frankie knows how to do the Power Slide on all the turns and he is actually pretty good at Marko Kart! He knew about this big huge green turtle shell you can throw at people (like GIRLS) who are trying to pass you and it knocks them out! HAHA plus you should see Frankie when he is playing the video games, he kinda looks funny like he is watching the TV but his brain is someplace else, and his arms start moving totally different and all concentrated and fast. I don't think I would want to tap him on the shoulder or anything while he was playing because he would DEFINITELy freak out or something. Who knows with him (he is crazy)! But he is cool right now because he helped me beat the girls. Even though he didn't know he won because he can't read the scores at the end Ha Ha.

Announcing my new Computer Mail Box

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT TODAY

Please send me some Computer Mail at my new place to send it! You can make your computer send it to kokodillon@yahoo.com or you can clicky-click on the part that says SEND ME COMPUTER MAIL on the right side box! It is important to send it to ME and not to Renee anymore because she forgets to show stuff to me and ERASES it and that makes me sad! If you send me fan mail and other nice things I might even talk about them on this internet box and you will be SO FAMOUS! Like a big star because I said your name on this place or even gave you an award! Do you even know how many people read this Internet place? And also lots of smart zoo animals probably check it every day because they get bored making fun of ugly humans.

Anyway here is the answer to the last Trivia Question: It was a trick question!! The answer is B: ZERO because what the giant human would really need is a BIG IRON duh. You could not put the ironing board under a mountain! Come on, I hope you got this one right or else you are not going to do very well in human school.

real official certificate

Well I guess since my fans are so cool and awesome, I am going to have to present another SUPER AWESOME FAN award today. This Award is not only for a super good fan but also for the WORLDS BEST GRAMPA! Can you believe that my Grampy got me the best TShirt in the whole world! That is right! It says HIPPOS SUCK and it is so cool!! I am wearing it right now and I have not taken it off since it came for me in the Real Outside Mail (you know the kind where a guy like puts envelopes in a box for you but he doesn't like to come inside your house) and I always knew Grampy was the greatest because sometimes he would let me drive the car! I am a real good driver except I can only turn the big wheel. I have to have a human push the foot buttons to make it go.

So here is the WORLDS BEST GRAMPA official certificate and let me tell you something OK! I know that when I looked on the Internet and I did a Goggle search I saw that lots of fake awards have been given out. All of these old guys had cups that said Worlds Best Grampa but they did not really win an award! Those cheaters. This one is real and you can tell because I officially signed it and I officially drew a ribbon looking thing which means it is OFFICIAL and not FAKE.

I was going to have my brother Clyde take my photo-graph because he is the smartest one (yeah OK I know he is smarter than me big deal but he is kind of a dork too) and he can figure out how the camra works. But Clyde said it is broken. I was nervous at first because I knew the humans would be kinda mad if we broke their camra but Clyde said THEY broke it and it is OK. Anyway I can't take a photo-graph now so I will have to just wait to show you my awesome shirt but you can click on the LINK down there someplace and see a picture of it there OK.

I know you are probably wondering why I am up so early on a Saturday! I know you are. That is because Geoffrey had to go to Teacher School today real early and he was sort of grumpy about having to get up early and sort of stomping around in his sandals. So I woke up a little early. I guess I would be mad if I had to go to school too. Why do the humans always go to SCHOOL so much? I mean have they even heard of TV?!? You can learn everything worth knowing on TV anyway so whats the big deal. Plus if Teachers have to go to school then that is pretty crazy.

Geoffrey likes to talk about math a lot so that is why I decided to make a pretty good Math question for this post. Here we go!

If there was a super giant human, how many ironing boards would he need to make the Alps Mountains get all flat?

a. One
b. Zero
c. Three Jazillion Million
d. Googleplex

Make sure to use a pencil and paper OK! Answer next time! I'm not going to post a hint for dummies because you should really be able to get this one and if you needed a hint for it you would just feel real embarassed.