Jelly Bean Spots Game

Ok so HELLO to everyone and all of my fans who have been real mad that they have not had any computer stuff to look at for a super long time! I got pretty bored doing computer stuff and plus my brothers were playing this cool game where you go to the drying machine and put in some jelly beans and watch how mad the humans get when their shirts and stuff have pretty colors all over them. I do not know why they would Hate the color spots from jelly beans! BUT ANYWAY I got bored with Jelly Bean Spot Game and so I will try out doing computers again. I feel bad about all of those fans who have had nothing to read on the ComputerNet for a long long time.

I have a new brother who is a baby Penguin. He is sort of weird. I don't know if I like Penguins. They are like birds but they do not fly??

BUT my big newsflash is that I have a house now!!! It is pretty cool and also the humans live here. The best part of the whole house is the room where humans make food. This room has a really cool floor that you can totally slide across all the way! If you run real fast from one door you can slide over to the other door and it is so awesome! I am pretty sure that this is why the humans decided to live here.

In a little while I am going to visit the cold place again where I used to live. I am going to see some superfans and probably sign some Auto-Graffs and maybe try out the floors to see how far you can slide.

I forgot how to look at this computer place and I tried to push the buttons to spell out CAPTAIN KOKO . BOOGERSPOT . COM . ha ha ha. It did not work

i am PRETTY UPSET

OK whatever you were doing before STOP because this is a totally important thing

A SPIDER TRIED TO EAT MY AUNT SANDI

no really IT TRIED TO EAT HER and it was big and brown and ugly and her arms and legs are probly going to fall off and this is serious!

Make sure you take a good look at this picture that I pretty much stole from someplace and remember what this guy looks like because we are going to TAKE HIM DOWN!!! He lives in Arizona and he has skinny legs and will try to eat your face off but i figure if we all get together and bring some shovels or big rubber boots or one of Geoffrey's big books about math or whatever and stuff then we can smash it! Then it will not try to eat my Aunt Sandi ever again! This is like a big serious news story that you will probly hear on the news and stuff so you will know for sure then that I am serious about this she had to go the hospital and everything.

Aunt Sandi don't worry we will Take Care Of It (pretend like I am winking at you right now OK Aunt Sandi like making you think that I probably will kill the spider and not try to talk to it or give it a hug or ask it about its Deep Feelings or whatever Renee would probly do)

If there is one thing Frankie can do, he can do what I tell him, so I am going to tell him to get a big rock and go to Arizona to smash the spider. I will go along to tell him other stuff to do and we will have to take Clyde because he's a lot smarter than us really (but still he is a nerd) and I guess Frankie will have to take his new "Lady Friend" so she can see him rescue Aunt Sandi and be all impressed. This new girl hippo is here and all she does is sleep on the couch so I think she is totally boring but Frankie thinks she is pretty and is always trying to get her attention by doing flips on the chair and beating Rocky at Mario Kart and stuff like that, but she just sleeps through it and snores a little.

When we go to Arizona I think we should bring the tent because we will be doing a lot of wilderness surivival and eating leaves and berries or whatever you do when you go camping and go on a deadly mission of Revenge to take out the spider that tried to eat your Aunt Sandi.

I was going to put more words on here about our vacation but that stupid spider ruined everything! Maybe I will talk more about it after we Take Him Down.

ATTENTION FANS

I am on vacation right now in the place where Grampy and Grammy live. Guess What! Every day I get to eat some good breakfast with bananas in it like banana pancakes or something! ALSO today I totally got to eat a Mango which was awesome.

There is a dog here named Casey. He drools a little bit kind of like Frankie. HA HA Anyway we are going to go camping soon I hope because my Super Fans Amanda and Larry Oligny got me a tent that is just for ME!! No humans can even FIT inside it because it is perfect Koko size OK just for me to fit in and sleep inside or whatever I want to do. I dont want Frankie to keep getting in though because it confuses him and he thinks it is a big bubble and then he has weird dreams and one time yesterday he told me that he had a Secret Mission now because he slept inside the bubble for a little while. Oh man is he weird.

I got to write on the board at the kitchen place! It was AWESOME and I drew a picture of Frankie with a big red line through it so he could know that he was not allowed. I was going to write some words to make fun of him but then I remembered that would be dumb because he cant read anyway.

Ladybugs are so dumb. I dont like them. Do you know what they do: They bounce around on the walls and stuff like all the time and then I think they have ladybug meetings by the windows and curtains that are Mandatory because they all show up. I will try to think about this some more later but right now I am on Vacation and need to relax my brain. It is pretty tired and I think I need some more mango juice.

weird things are happening

Well our house has been officially INVADED because Renee adopted two more animals and they are both Girls! I don't know why she thought I had to have a couple of sisters but whatever! There is a grizzly bear named Gretchen and oh yeah a Panda named Ya-Ya and they stick together and whisper stuff about us. I don't know if I like them! I guess I don't have a choice because they're my Sisters but that doesnt mean they can be my best friends or anything right! I do have one other sister Gertie but she is just a baby so she doesn't count as a Girl. If she could talk she would be all like "Oh I have been asleep for the last week but now Im going to wake up and try to figure out whether my feet are attached to me before eating some mush and going back to sleep for the rest of the month" because she is a baby. These other new sisters are Girls and I just dont know about all of this. Me and my brothers had a secret meeting under the computer table which I guess is kind of our clubhouse now since we have to find a place where no Girls can be and we said that we don't know what we are going to do about Girls being in the house!

The worst thing is that they are pretty good at Mario Kart too! Of course they picked the dumb Princesses in their stupid Pink Flowery Heart Car and they beat me and Clyde like four times! I got pretty mad and told Clyde I needed a better partner so he made Frankie take his place. I thought that was going to SUCK but then it turns out Frankie knows how to do the Power Slide on all the turns and he is actually pretty good at Marko Kart! He knew about this big huge green turtle shell you can throw at people (like GIRLS) who are trying to pass you and it knocks them out! HAHA plus you should see Frankie when he is playing the video games, he kinda looks funny like he is watching the TV but his brain is someplace else, and his arms start moving totally different and all concentrated and fast. I don't think I would want to tap him on the shoulder or anything while he was playing because he would DEFINITELy freak out or something. Who knows with him (he is crazy)! But he is cool right now because he helped me beat the girls. Even though he didn't know he won because he can't read the scores at the end Ha Ha.

Announcing my new Computer Mail Box

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT TODAY

Please send me some Computer Mail at my new place to send it! You can make your computer send it to kokodillon@yahoo.com or you can clicky-click on the part that says SEND ME COMPUTER MAIL on the right side box! It is important to send it to ME and not to Renee anymore because she forgets to show stuff to me and ERASES it and that makes me sad! If you send me fan mail and other nice things I might even talk about them on this internet box and you will be SO FAMOUS! Like a big star because I said your name on this place or even gave you an award! Do you even know how many people read this Internet place? And also lots of smart zoo animals probably check it every day because they get bored making fun of ugly humans.

Anyway here is the answer to the last Trivia Question: It was a trick question!! The answer is B: ZERO because what the giant human would really need is a BIG IRON duh. You could not put the ironing board under a mountain! Come on, I hope you got this one right or else you are not going to do very well in human school.

real official certificate

Well I guess since my fans are so cool and awesome, I am going to have to present another SUPER AWESOME FAN award today. This Award is not only for a super good fan but also for the WORLDS BEST GRAMPA! Can you believe that my Grampy got me the best TShirt in the whole world! That is right! It says HIPPOS SUCK and it is so cool!! I am wearing it right now and I have not taken it off since it came for me in the Real Outside Mail (you know the kind where a guy like puts envelopes in a box for you but he doesn't like to come inside your house) and I always knew Grampy was the greatest because sometimes he would let me drive the car! I am a real good driver except I can only turn the big wheel. I have to have a human push the foot buttons to make it go.

So here is the WORLDS BEST GRAMPA official certificate and let me tell you something OK! I know that when I looked on the Internet and I did a Goggle search I saw that lots of fake awards have been given out. All of these old guys had cups that said Worlds Best Grampa but they did not really win an award! Those cheaters. This one is real and you can tell because I officially signed it and I officially drew a ribbon looking thing which means it is OFFICIAL and not FAKE.

I was going to have my brother Clyde take my photo-graph because he is the smartest one (yeah OK I know he is smarter than me big deal but he is kind of a dork too) and he can figure out how the camra works. But Clyde said it is broken. I was nervous at first because I knew the humans would be kinda mad if we broke their camra but Clyde said THEY broke it and it is OK. Anyway I can't take a photo-graph now so I will have to just wait to show you my awesome shirt but you can click on the LINK down there someplace and see a picture of it there OK.

I know you are probably wondering why I am up so early on a Saturday! I know you are. That is because Geoffrey had to go to Teacher School today real early and he was sort of grumpy about having to get up early and sort of stomping around in his sandals. So I woke up a little early. I guess I would be mad if I had to go to school too. Why do the humans always go to SCHOOL so much? I mean have they even heard of TV?!? You can learn everything worth knowing on TV anyway so whats the big deal. Plus if Teachers have to go to school then that is pretty crazy.

Geoffrey likes to talk about math a lot so that is why I decided to make a pretty good Math question for this post. Here we go!

If there was a super giant human, how many ironing boards would he need to make the Alps Mountains get all flat?

a. One
b. Zero
c. Three Jazillion Million
d. Googleplex

Make sure to use a pencil and paper OK! Answer next time! I'm not going to post a hint for dummies because you should really be able to get this one and if you needed a hint for it you would just feel real embarassed.

super surprise announcement

Today I am going to make a SUPER BIG ANNOUNCEMENT about a special human prize I just now decided to give out to someone very cool. Please take your ugly bald human fingers and tap them real fast on your desk or table or whatever so it sounds exciting like there are drum rolls.

The winner of best human award is AUNT SANDI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's right Aunt Sandi I would like to officially give you this special award I decided to give you since you sent me the COOLEST postcard thingie on my, I mean Renee's, Computer Mail.

If anyone else wants an awesome prize like this they will have to send me Computer Mail or maybe some kind of fruit basket in Real Outside Mail. But you still won't really get the BEST prize because you didn't think of it first like Sandi did ok.

If you want to know why the prize is green it is because RAIN FORESTS are green and also I could not find a blue marker. The humans have kind of a mess here and I can not seem to find the color markers and the finger paints. Geoffrey said not to use finger paints on the printer thing (it has some glass that you put a picture on and it remembers it and describes it to the Computer which is pretty neat) or else he will get real mad.

The neat postcard thing that BEST HUMAN aunt Sandi sent me had a picture of the gorilla I was named after and also the gorilla had a kitten on her HEAD which was so cute I cant even tell you. Maybe later I will give it to the printer so it can remember it real good but I don't know if it will work because it is a super cute picture and it might be hard for the printer to remember?

who is the smartest one

OK HERE WE GO!!! The answer to that question is D: TWO TAMALES!!! Who got it right?! If you got it right you are the smartest one, so if you know someone who got it wrong you should definitely jump around and wave your arms and stuff saying about how the other person is a real big loser for picking a dumb answer. The answer Two Tamales is because Tamale is the Spanish word for "go real fast like a train" but you have to really talk to a Spanish-barking dog to find it out. That was the trick part to the question, okay? So next time you might be better at it.

Did you know that a banana can be just as delicious when it is Green! Also some kinds of monkeys eat bananas different than humans! They like split it up the side and probably mash it up some and lick it out that way. I think I saw it on TV one time.

Today me and my brother Rocky were going to go outside and see if we could climb up to the roof of that other little house where the washing machine and drying machine live. We told Frankie that we were going to Africa because that is where hippos live. I thought he was really believing me until Rocky admitted to him that the washing machine is not really in Africa. I have to talk to Rocky about this kind of messing up my good jokes and stuff.

brain challenge

Here is a new trivia question I just thought up. This one is kind of hard but you should try to answer it anyway.

If your family dog starts to get fleas in winter, how long will it take before he reaches the train coming from Mexico at 65 miles an hour?

a. Couple of weeks
b. Blue korean food speed (32)
c. Trick question; fleas can not jump
d. Two tamales

Think real hard and try not to cheat by sending a Computer-Mail to me and asking me to tell you the answer because that is the only way you could cheat I think. I will put the answer next time!

Special hint for real dummies: My brother Damon is a dog but he does not care for Mexico.

dumb thing Frankie did for today

The humans got a new printer for Christmas. It's big and makes a little zoot-zoot noise when it prints things out. It came in a big box which they leave sitting around in the other room because they are sort of lazy. Frankie saw the box and jumped right in like it was a pool or something. It's like 50 times bigger than him and he couldn't get out. It was fun to poke at the sides like I might maybe possibly help get him out but then just turn on Animal Planet instead. My brother Clyde got him out later because he finished reading his book I guess. Clyde is big and orange with long arms and legs.

oh ho I can make up stuff on the internet

I bet you didn't know that I had one of these internet boxes. Right now the human Geoffrey is pushing buttons on his computer machine and giving me a funny look. I don't think he knows that I can push buttons pretty good too.

My brother Frankie put some chocolates into the toaster and made the humans pretty mad. Renee is not too good at putting out fires and she makes a lot of loud noises. Even if they put a sign on the toaster about not putting any chocolates in, Frankie could not read it. I think that is funny.